ANOTHER WEEK GONE BY

No one is feeling very good right now. Sort of a mix of allergies and possible flu bug.

Wednesday was very productive though. All of us went to Springfield for the day. Alex had a Dr. appt. with an ear, nose and throat specialist. He has to go back in about 6 weeks, he may need tubes in his ears. Great hospital, and Dr. facilities there. I was impressed.

I went shopping at the Mall. I mean I went and bought something for myself. Am really excited to go back. In fact I would love to go and spend the entire day there. Taking my time and enjoying the visual effects of Mall Shopping. I order less and less online now. I go to Walmart, the grocery and Springfield and Bolivar pretty regularly now. Everyone here is really patient when they go with me. I have such a problem with my right knee and have been having horrible hot flashes thanks to menopause. But I so enjoyed myself this past Wednesday.

Went to Petland and got LuLu some chew toys, housebreaking puppy pads and a food dish. She is such a cutie. We have started her on moistened puppy chow and she doesn't take her milk in a bottle anymore, she is able to drink it out of her bowl. She is just over 4 weeks old now. Looks like she is going to be a big dog.

Also we went to the hatchery and picked up 5 guinea keets, 5 turkey chicks and 5 "easter egg" chicks. They are so tiny so they are under a heat lamp and are eating and drinking really well. They are going to be great additions to our established flock.

Got all the lumber for our back deck but Clay has been too ill to do anything but unload and cover it up. We are excited to get it up and finished. Frances started putting a sealant on Alex's play yard. She and Drew picked out a "Redwood Mahogany" finish and it will be really nice once it's finished. It will blend in with the trees really nice.

Been a really busy week. I feel such an emptiness in my heart. I wish it would go away. I don't imagine it ever will though.

MOURNING

After more than a year of waiting and hoping and reaching out I've realized that I have to come to grips with the reality of losing my daughter and her family. I have hoped and pretended that it will change, that she will once again be a part of my life but time has proven me wrong. I am so sad that it physically hurts. I have put off and put off mourning for this lose but I can do that no longer. I have to let myself mourn. It feels so horrible though. It seems the lose is too great.

Tomorrow we plan on going and getting all of the lumber for the back deck. It will be off the dining room door. We are also going to be picking up new baby chicks. 5 guineas, 5 turkeys, 5 hens.

I had been looking forward to doing this but now all I want to do is curl up and cry and the pain to just go away.

LOTS OF STUFF

I sit outside on my swing writing this. Don't you love wireless? Alex is running around playing and the rooster is a few feet from me crowing. I LOVE THE COUNTRY. It is so peaceful. I would describe it as quiet but in reality, I am having the rooster crow over and over, there are all kinds of different birds in the trees making all different kinds of bird calls. When I get time I'm going to learn the different ones by their "songs."

It has been a busy, busy week. The playyard is finished. LuLu opened her eyes and started standing up and trying to walk. She isn't three weeks old yet. We had a managers party for Clay's work last night and there were about 30 people here. There was one lady here who was probably older than Clay and I but other than her we were the oldest. The youngest one was 4 months old and she was beautiful. People brought a friend, a family member, babies and one even broughther puppy. It was a 4month old lab. Of course Clay cooked and everyone brought a side dish. Lots of food and water balloon fights, everyone got on the swing the slide and the trampoline at some time during the evening. It ended with a big bonfire. OH, the thing that caused the most excitement was some adults took the kids to the hen house to collect eggs for the day only to get in there and find a black snake already there and eating the eggs. Not poisonous but can't have it eating up our eggs. Drew and Clay drug it out of the hen house and took the rifle and shot it's head off. It was almost 5 feet long.

Today for the first time in decades I got on a swing set and I was able to swing side by side with my grandson. I feel so alive here.

BIG WEEKEND

Drew and Frances took their stimulus check and spent it all on Alex a play yard. Clay and I went to Springfield and picked up all the lumber and Drew, Clay and Frances worked on it all weekend. The swingset part of it is still to be built this week. Erin and Aaron came over from Colorado to pick up all of her stuff she had stored here and we had a cook out. Of course Clay did the cooking and it was really nice. They did not stay near long enough though. I miss my girls so badly. I am blessed to have Frances close by though.

Erin and Aarons Pathfinder Drew and Erin. She was getting ready to go to bed after the long drive and loading the trailer and eating.

The end of Saturday. Drew and Alex check out the view from up top.

The ladder and canopy on top are finished. There is also a pirates ship wheel inside that
Alex loves to play with. Next are the swings. Will update then.

NEW ADDITIONS

Our new addition to the family. Her name is LouLou, she is named after Frances whose middle name is Louise. She is a black Lab. Her mommy died 2 days after she was born so we have to bottle feed her every 4 hours. She is just over a week old now and her eyes should be opening in a few days.

Tabbers and Monty "our" cats will be going home with their mommy this weekend. Erin and Aaron will be making a quick turn around trip from Colorado to pick up her "babies" and all of her furniture and other things she had stored here. So wish that they were going to be here for at least a few days but maybe in a few months they can come for a long weekend or something.

I just came inside from putting the first coat of a tinted weatherproofing finish on the new wooden picnic table that we got yesterday. Yesterday Clay and I went to Springfield and Drew gave us his ATM card and had us buy all the lumber and accessories for Alex a really nice playyard. It has just one tower for now (plans are in the work to keep adding towers and also a big turbo slide) and a really big slide and swings and a tire swing and a pirate ship wheel. They are hoping to have it all done by the end of this weekend. Except for a couple of hours loading Erin's U-Haul they will be working non-stop on it Saturday. Clay works a double shift Sunday from 6am - midnight so he won't be able to help finish it up. We are all so excited about it.

The other day I drove for the first time in over a year. IT WAS WONDERFUL. I had forgotten how much I love to drive. I went by myself and went shopping and bought things for ME. I got 2 new tops, a new pair of capris, some socks, a NEON clock for my kitchen (really cool) and a purse. It has been years since I have been to a store and bought myself clothes off the rack. NICE.

Also the woman who had lived here before on our farm, she had died of an illness a few years ago but she had put flower beds all over the front yard and I have been finding them and working on them. Bought more new plants to put in them and am in the process of getting rock borders to go around them all. Yesterday I bought myself a lightweight electric weedeater so that I can trim and keep things tidy around the house and walkway and some of the trees close to the house.

The farm is a work in progress and we all just LOVE all the creativity that we can and do put into it. I haven't felt so alive in years.

ALEX

About a month ago we had 2 roosters and one of them did not like Alex, it had hurt him once before and so we were watching the situation but then one day Nana and Pappy were outside with Alex and the rooster attacked Alex and hurt him pretty bad before we could even get up from the swing and get to him. I think it scared me more than it did him but an half hour later the rooster was simmering in a pot on the stove. You can hardly see the scar now. This was taken a couple of days after the incident.
Alex rarely uses his stroller anymore but Tabbers likes to lay in the seat and sleep and Monty likes the back basket. This day Monty stayed in the basket while Alex pushed him around the house.
Alex all ready to hit the pool. We will be putting it up probably this week. Getting ready for a big cook out at our house with people from Clay's work. Clay loves his new grill, EVERY night that he is home for dinner he has to cook something on the grill.

Clay's new toy.

Alex Being "grownup"

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON
Alex LOVES mowing, actually he loves "helping" with everything he sees someone doing.
Whenever Pappy gets out the lawnmower Alex has to get his lawnmower out and "help"
Now if only they would make a toy lawnmower that actually cuts grass.